I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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