i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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