Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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