all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
