For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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