a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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