It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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