We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
