Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
