I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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