idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He did a backflip because drugs
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