my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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