i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
