And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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