We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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