we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
