can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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