I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
