i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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