how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
