Dual....:-)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
