did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
...so i touched it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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