I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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