I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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