im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
