Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
