I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
