If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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