...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she smelled like a LAN party
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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