A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
