what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
