Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize