Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude i'm inner monologue high
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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