Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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