My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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