i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
