I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
