Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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