Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
