Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
