What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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