I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
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The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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