Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
