walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
