Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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