my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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