Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
True strength comes from lack of pants
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
