I wanna passion pit in your ass
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
high people should be assigned attendants
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
