We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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