The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
