i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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