Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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