note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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