im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
