I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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