I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
